Sign posted in my IT department
Feb 17
If the help desk thinks your question is stupid, we will set you on fire.
Sir, you forgot your change!
Feb 17I work at a ice cream place and one time a guy on the patio came up to the order window and pays. As I was getting his change, he walks away.
Me: “Sir, your change!”
Customer: ”You are really gonna make me come all the way back to get my change? Why don’t you just bring it to me?”
You want me to crawl through the fucking window?
Quote of the Day
Feb 14When you go in for a job interview, I think a good thing to ask is if they ever press charges."
Is email internet? – Stupid Customers
Feb 13Me: “How can I help you today, ma’am?”
Client: “Is e-mail internet”?
Me: “I beg your pardon?”
Client: “Is e-mail on the internet? I have no internet, can I still read my e-mail?”
Me: “Well yes, you must be able to get online to view your e-mail.”
Client: “Oh, dear. I can’t see my e-mail.”
Me: “Well, let’s see. Can you open up Internet Explorer for me and tell me what you see?”
Client: “Open what?”
Me: “Your browser, can you open up your browser?”
Client: “My…my…?”
Me: “What you click on when you want to browse the internet?”
[Continue reading this hilarious conversation on clientsfromhell.com]
No Smoking Smoker – Stupid Customers
Feb 12
(I work in a 100% non-smoking hotel. A lady and her son check in. Ten minutes later, she storms down, son in tow.)
Lady: “You said we had a non-smoking room! My room smells like smoke.”
Me: “I assure you, ma’am, that we are a 100% non-smoking hotel. However, it is possible that someone illegally smoked in your room. I would be happy to change you to a different room if you prefer.”
Lady: “No! We are already unpacked, and it is too much hassle. But my son has lung cancer and he gets very sick if he is anywhere near smoke. You need to discount our room.”
Me: “I’m sorry, I’m not going to discount your room for you. As I mentioned before, I would be happy to help you change rooms into something more satisfactory. We don’t want your son to get sick from the room smell.”
Lady: *shouting* “I want a free room! You’re going to kill my son!”
(At this point, my manager comes out and reiterates that we would be happy to move their room, but would not be discounting their stay. The lady leaves in a huff. The next day, I see her outside smoking; her son is sitting forlornly 3 feet away.)